


Watching Over You

by czmAvery



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Apathy, Beaches, Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I put relationships but it's really not mentioned, Lots of these are platonic, M/M, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader has so many issues, Reader is gender neutral, Reader-Insert, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Vent Pieces, Warnings May Change, dealing with death, depressed reader, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:31:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9535967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/czmAvery/pseuds/czmAvery
Summary: Comfort/Fluff/Vent fic. Lots of angst and tears, probably.I'm working on trying to get all of the Overwatch Heroes, then I'll probably write one with TALON. Maybe.Heroes I currently have posted:Genji Shimada -- Suicidal FeelingsReinhardt Wilhelm -- Panic AttacksAna Amari -- Grief/Loss of Someone Important





	1. When You Think that Nobody Cares

**“Now arriving at Ilios.”** Athena’s voice chimed over the Comm. You glanced out the window of the ship, taking in the lush scenery. Blue rooves, white walls, green plants … Perhaps, on one of your good days, you would have considered it beautiful … but not today. No, today was full of apathy … the colors are muted … almost gray. You were unhappy, to say the least.

Not that you didn’t wear a smile, of course. Surrounded by your team, you fought to make sure they didn’t worry. A grin when appropriate, a laugh here and there. Hell, you even went as far as to initiate physical contact, though in this state the touch increased your anxiety, so you used that tactic sparingly.

As the dropship finally touched down, you listened to the excited chatter of your team around you. D.VA, Lucio, and Tracer chatted about going to the beach, Reinhardt was trying to convince Ana or Torbjorn to join him in sunbathing, and both Mei and Winston chatted excitedly about doing research. The whole team was here for once, and it was an excitingly odd trip.

Now, you weren’t exactly here on vacation, per se. Reports had come in of an ancient relic that had long been searched for by Overwatch before it was disbanded, and rumor was that it was somewhere on this island. Your team were to make rounds daily, scouting for intelligence and information, as well as keeping an eye out for TALON agents who may have received the same intel. 

That, and the newest recruits may or may not have blown up half of the housing wing back at Gibraltar. _(*looks pointedly at Junkrat*)_

As you watched your team’s banter, you couldn’t help but smile sadly. They had no idea what was going on in your head … Perhaps that was for the best.


	2. Genji is With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts.

“Athena, please release the side door.” 

In a hushed tone, the AI responded. **“Walking in the dark alone is not advisable, Agent; especially without informing your superior. Please reconsider.”**

“I want to go outside, Athena. Please don’t make a scene. You’ll wake everyone else up,” you whispered. “I’ll return after a short walk, I promise.”

There was a momentary pause, followed by a short whirring sound, as if the computer was sighing. **“If you’re certain, Agent.”**

There was a slight hiss, and a quiet clicking as a latch released before the door opened, creating a ramp to the ground below for you. Finally free, you stepped outside. The cool breeze carried the smell of the ocean, and you breathed deeply, letting the scent wash over you. 

After all, you weren’t sure whether or not this would be the last time you could smell it.

Releasing the breath in a sigh, you moved on. You knew where you were going. After having been forced to memorize a map of the island, as well as having walked these streets personally for the past week, one would hope you could find your way around the city. 

Eventually you arrived, and glanced around. The plaza was empty, everyone else having gone to sleep by now. Nearby, the windmill turned, causing the stars to your left to flicker in and out of view. You watched quietly before turning to focus on your real destination.

The well.

The giant hole gaped across the ground, taking up at least a good half of the plaza. Why anyone thought it was a good idea to put this here, especially without guardrails, was beyond you. But, tonight, the situation might work in your favor. 

Slowly, you made your way towards the hole, footsteps echoing quietly off the pavement and stone surrounding you. Standing at the edge, you peered into the darkness. Not that you’d be able to see anything at night. Even during the day, when you had looked into the crater, there had been no bottom in sight. And yet here you were, so close, toes at the edge of what would lead to certain death. 

If you fell, it would be over. Nobody would hear you. Nobody would know where you were. You would be lost to the void forever, with few to remember your name. And yet … the thought somehow felt nice. Comforting.

Breathing slowly, you managed to lift one foot from the stone below. It was a dangerous move, and yet you weren’t fighting it. You probably should be. You knew that there were people you’d be leaving behind, who would be upset with your disappearance … but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

 _They’ll move on, in time. Forget, eventually. I’ll be another name lost in time … and they’ll be fine. They’re Overwatch, after all. Nothing could bring them down._ You chuckled. _Not the government, not even the rest of the world._

All it would take is one step …

“You should probably step away from there, my friend,” you heard a metallic voice say. You jumped, almost causing yourself to lose balance, but a pair of hands steadied you, one on your forearm, one on your back. Glancing over your shoulder, you caught sight of a soft green glow and sighed. 

“Genji. You scared me,” you sighed, quickly righting your position so you could stand on your own. 

“And you, me. I did not think you would be up this late,” the ninja said, releasing his gentle grip. “Would you mind telling me what you are doing?” he asked. His tone had an edge to it, as if he knew more than he let on … which he probably did. 

You bit back a sharp retort. Now was not the time … “Ah, I was out for a walk. Couldn’t sleep,” you said, flashing a winning smile at him. The ninja was quiet for a moment, staring you down before turning to look at the pit.

“I meant what were you doing here? It is dangerous to stand so close to the edge of the well.”

Your blood chilled. “Oh, that. Hah … Actually, I was wondering how deep it was …” you covered, hoping you sounded nonchalant. “It’s hard to see the bottom … even in the light.”

“Ah, yes. Winston said it was at least 40 meters deep. He said the size of the well was impressive … and I agree,” Genji said, surveying the hole before returning his gaze to you. “But that makes this spot even more dangerous. Let us step away from the edge.” Gently, the ninja held out his arm, blocking you from the darkened pit, before walking away, prompting you to move with him. 

Once you were away from the edge, you let out a sigh; whether out of relief or discontent, you didn’t know. 

Quietly, Genji led you to a bench, where the two of you sat down. As you did, the ninja’s hands moved to remove his mask, a thing he often did when he was alone with you. Once it was removed, Genji turned his gentle brown eyes to you, concern clearly evident on his features. “Now, my friend, would you mind telling me what has been bothering you so?”

You visibly flinched, suddenly refusing to look at your fellow agent and friend. 

Genji continued. “Do not think I haven’t noticed, ________. I am growing worried, especially after what I saw just now. Please, tell me what is on your mind.” As he said this, he tenderly placed a hand on your back and gave a small squeeze. 

You didn’t respond, focusing instead on fighting back tears that threatened to spill over. It was difficult, however. The tears stemmed from many different emotions, making it hard to pinpoint and control. You were angry for not hiding it better, embarrassed at having been found out, ashamed for almost giving in to your thoughts … just an all-around mess. 

The two of you sat there quietly for a while, you trying to decide what to say, Genji waiting patiently for you to respond, his chocolate eyes trained on you the entire time. You didn’t know how long you sat there like that, but it eventually became apparent that Genji wouldn’t let up about this, and you sighed, turning to stare at the ground. The ninja didn’t move.

After a long moment of trying to collect yourself, you took a deep breath and began. “You know when you have thoughts that just won’t leave you alone? No matter who you’re with, or what you’re doing, you can’t stop them? They’re always there, in the back of your mind, scratching and whispering and sucking away all your energy. And you know you shouldn’t listen to them. And for a while, you don’t. But you start to get tired, and it gets harder and harder to fight …” 

You rested your head in your hands, running your fingers comfortingly through your hair before continuing. “But you keep pressing forward, because there are people watching. You don’t want to worry them, or make them not like you anymore … So you stay quiet, if only so you can see them smile one more time … Because you know that someday, perhaps even today, that you won’t be able to fight anymore, and,” you snapped for dramatic effect, “that’ll be it. All because of stupid thoughts that you know logically aren’t true, but your feelings tell you otherwise.”

A few tears fell from your chin, and you hurriedly wiped them up with your sleeve. It had been a while since you’d opened up like this … but you didn’t seem to feel any relief. Not yet. It was more of an apathetic feeling, tainted slightly with worry. What was Genji going to think of you now? What if he told the others? What would they think of you? With a sigh, you returned your head to your hands and closed your eyes.

The hand that had been resting on your back slowly vanished, and you felt your heart sink to the pit of your stomach. This was it. He was going to leave, or reprimand you, maybe go report to Soldier 76, or – 

Your thoughts were cut off as a pair of cybernetic arms wrapped around you. In surprise, you sat up slightly, involuntarily giving your ninja friend an opportunity to hold you closer. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, the metal against your skin surprisingly warm and thrumming with life. His unmasked face was gently pressed to your neck, the breath coming from his nose soft against your skin. 

A quiet sigh escaped your lips, and you slowly leaned forward to reciprocate. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, letting the warmth wash over your stinging eyes. The material wasn’t metal, probably for mobility’s sake, though it also did make for a better place to rest against. Tears slid from your eyes, and you hoped they wouldn’t interfere with any circuitry the ninja might have. 

The two of you sat there silently. You’d expected Genji to respond, but he still said nothing. The longer this went on, the more you felt the need to justify yourself. 

Eventually, you caved. “Look, I know I shouldn’t be thinking things like that. There’s no reason for me to. So many people have it so much worse off than I do, but I can’t—” This time a sob forced its way to the surface, surprising you as it cut you off.

Genji’s hand rubbed calming circles in your back as he gently hushed you. “Shhh … it is okay. I understand.” He paused a moment, then added, “Perhaps not fully, but I am trying.”

“’m sorry …” you mumbled, still fighting back your tears.

Genji shook his head. “There is no need to apologize, _______. You are only human. So please,” he pulled away gently, taking his hand and cupping your cheek, “don’t hide your pain from me. It is okay to cry.”

It seemed that was all it took for the floodgates to open. Tears flowing freely now, you let out a strangled sound somewhat akin to a squeak and threw your arms back around the cyborg’s neck. You could feel your body trembling, and you were almost certain he could feel it, too. You stayed there for a while, shaking and sobbing until your tears eventually ran dry, Genji holding you close and rubbing your back gently the entire time.

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, voice hoarse. “The thoughts … they still won’t stop …”

“I know, I know. It will not be easy. It will not happen in one night. But I am here now. We can work though this together, I promise.”

You pulled back a bit, wiping your tears away as you caught his eyes. “We? This is my problem, Genji. You … you don’t have to waste your time on me.” You looked away at the last statement, hugging your arms to yourself as you did. 

Carefully, Genji cradled your chin and brought you back to look at him again a sad smile playing on his lips. “_______, helping you would not be a waste. You are very important to me. If I can make you even the slightest bit happier, I will do whatever it takes.”

Fighting back tears again, you leaned forward, resting your forehead on his chest as he cradled you tenderly. The ninja was quiet for a moment, running the tips of his fingers through your hair before gently pulling you close.

“I will be here for you, _______, whenever you need to talk. Whether it be a week from now, a month from now, or later tonight. I will be here to listen. Do not worry, ________. 

“Genji is with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the opening was bad. I kinda hoped that the dialogue would be enough for you to clue in on what was going on without needing me to explain ... cuz I didn't want to.
> 
> Anyway, there's that ... I may return to this scenario at some point ... IDK yet. First I'm gonna work on the other heroes.


	3. Reinhardt, at Your Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Anxiety and panic attacks.

Shuddering, you tried to gulp down air as you rocked carefully back and forth. Your eyes were stretched wide, fire spreading across your body from your chest along with uncontrollable tremors. God, why were you so scared? There was no reason … everything was gonna be okay … Everything … 

But you couldn’t stop the screaming in your head, the fire on your skin, and the absolute terror you felt right now. _What is wrong with me?_ you cried mentally, to no avail. No, you knew what was wrong. There was just no stopping it. 

Anxiety. Panic attacks. The usual monsters that plagued your mind and skirted the edges of your daily life. Usually, it was easier to keep them at bay. And even if you couldn’t, you had somewhere to hide if they chose to attack you. But today was one of your weak days, and it was finally catching up to you. Even worse, you had nowhere to go today. Nowhere to hide. So instead, here you were, hiding in an alleyway in some unfamiliar country, tucked behind a dumpster as you fought the urge to scream.

_Help me!_ you wanted to say. _Please, stop this. Save me! Someone! Please!_ You could feel the tears burning at your eyes, but when they fell, they did nothing to relieve the searing heat that crackled across your skin. Breathing was impossible. _Am I going to die like this?_ you wondered, as you did every time this happened … but no. You knew there was no end for you here. The world wouldn’t let you go so easily. It was going to keep you, toy with you … _torture_ you until there was nothing left of you, and still it would continue on. It was going to play with you and tease you, let you feel every bit of fear and desperation. There was no escaping it. Look at how you’d been caught so easily today. It was coming for you. There was no escape … No –

“__________?” You heard a deep, rumbling voice call to you, though for some reason you didn’t recognize it. You knew you should, but you couldn’t. Was it a stranger? How did he know your name? Was he going to kill you? Why did he have to find you?

A large hand was placed on your shoulder, and you tried to scream as the burning in that area intensified. Instead, you let out a tight, choked sound as the tears fell faster. You could feel yourself practically vibrating against the giant palm of the man behind you as you shook, heart racing, frozen in place. Why couldn’t you move? _Help. Help!_

While you panicked, the person behind you shifted, heavy footsteps moving around you until his massive boots came into view. Slowly, the man crouched, until his broad shoulders and gray-bearded, scarred face came into view. _Reinhardt._ It finally clicked … but the fact almost made this whole scenario worse. If this had been a stranger, they would have either killed you, or left you to suffer in peace, but … Instead, it was an Overwatch Agent, and a veteran at that. Reinhardt. The most brave, strong, and admirable member of your team, in your eyes. Someone who knew no fear. 

_Why? Why did it have to be him?_ you cried silently, unable to move or look away, instead causing your wide, terrified eyes to bore into the giant man’s chest as you shook under his grasp. 

“Mein gott, __________, vat happened? Are you alright?” he asked, his voice noticeably quieter than his usual roar. 

Eventually, you managed to crack a smile, though you didn’t know how or why. You gave a less-strained sounding whine before your smile morphed into a frown and you let out a sob … and then another, and another, until you were full-on weeping, curling into yourself, away from his hand, trembling still. You could breathe now, but there was no relief in the feeling, as each gasp of air burned in your lungs and felt like acid filling your chest.

“__________ … __________, come here,” Reinhardt whispered, shifting into a kneeling position and gently nudging you towards him.

You couldn’t help it. Your body moved on its own, lunging towards him and burying your face in his chest, shuddering against him with every breath. You felt his large, warm arms wrap around you, hands gently rubbing your upper back comfortingly. 

“Zats it … Zere you go …” he rumbled, the vibrations tickling your face as you wept. “Let it _allllll_ out.”

And you did. For a good, long while, you cried and shook and pressed into Reinhardt like he was the last thing on Earth. Eventually, your sobs subsided, your breathing steadied, and your body relaxed, now weak with exhaustion. Even after you had quieted, though, Reinhardt held you, apparently waiting until you moved to make any move himself. 

You kind of wanted to just stay here like this forever, partially because then you wouldn’t have to explain yourself to the towering crusader … but you knew that was impossible. Reluctantly, you pushed off of his chest, and he relinquished his hold on you. The two of you sat for a moment, you looking at the ground, Reinhardt looking at you, until you finally spoke up. 

“Look, I’m sorry, I … hah … I didn’t expect anyone to find me while I, uh … yeah …” you offered weakly, refusing to look up. You probably would have broken down into tears if you hadn’t already spent them all. Besides, you were too exhausted for another round of crying. “So … yeah … ‘msorry …” 

Once again, a warm hand rested on your shoulder, causing you to look up. Reinhardt was looking at you, concern and care evident on his features. You were shocked to see the faintest hint of tears lingering in the large agent’s one good eye. “__________, zere is no need to apologize … I don’t quite undersdand vat’s going on, but I do know zere’s no reazon for you to apologize …” The giant man offered a gentle smile as he said this, wrinkles deepening as he did so.

Weakly, you gave a small smile in return before it fell yet again. You knew he deserved an explanation, no matter what he said he was okay with not knowing. So you began. “I, uh … just … I … get these … panic attacks? I guess?” Your gaze dropped back to the floor. “I don’t know … I can’t control it. I just get really, really scared sometimes. I mean … I’m scared all the time, but … some days it gets really, really bad and it sort of just … spills over.” Slowly, you took a deep breath, trying to steady your already fluttering heart. You weren’t ready for another attack. Not yet. 

But Reinhardt wasn’t speaking. Was he judging you, or was he just thinking you had more to say? You weren’t sure, but it was making you nervous. “Look, I don’t expect you to understand, but …” You took a moment to steady yourself so you wouldn’t choke. “Please don’t judge me. I know it’s dumb, but … I’m doing all I can to fight it. I just don’t always succeed … just … please …”

And there you go. You were crying again, tears stinging your already-raw eyes for a second time. This seemed to startle Reinhardt, however, and he finally spoke. “No, __________! … Nein … zere’s no judging here … I promize … I just …” His face screwed up a bit as he looked up at the sky. He seemed to be trying to decide what to say. “I just vish you had told me. I vould have liked to have helped you sooner …” His large hand cupped underneath your chin, causing you to look up at him again. “No person should have to face zeir demons alone … Ezpecially not one as great as you.”

Looking into his eyes, as honest as he was, you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Not at him, but at how crazy this all seemed. “I’m not great, Rein,” you said, shaking your head slightly with a wry smile. 

This seemed to perk Reinhardt a bit, and he clapped you on the back, perhaps a little forcefully, but clearly the force was unintentional. He didn’t seem to notice. “Ah, but you are, my friend! Vhy else do you zink I like spending so much time vith you? You are truly an inspiration to zhe members of Overvatch … zis is just a new reazon to admire your vork,” he said, eye twinkling … with passion, cheer, or a slight hint of teasing, you weren’t sure. 

You chuckled a bit, shaking your head. “I’m not quite sure why you think that, Rein, but thank you …” you said, giving a slight smile to the giant man. In response, he returned the smile and rubbed your back tenderly. The two of you sat in silence for a bit, thought it seemed to be rather comfortable, before he piped up. 

“Do you need schome ice cream?”

The question was so odd and unexpected, you couldn’t help but let out a snort. “What makes you ask that?” you asked, fighting back various forms of laughter.

The older man shrugged. “I don’t know, it zeems like a lot of people nowadays are interezted in zhe schweet foods. I zought I’d offer you somezing to help,” he said.

_That’s so sweet …_ you thought, smiling slightly. Nodding, you said, “Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you.” As you spoke, you stood, staring down at the usually much-taller man for once. 

Slowly, Reinhardt followed suit, groaning as he dragged himself to his feet, using the nearby dumpster as a support. “Uhff … maybe kneeling vas not zuch a good idea …” he grumbled, rubbing his knees slightly. “Perhapz next time you could pick a place vith a schofter floor? Somezing like carpet, or a pillow.” There was a slight pause before he clapped you on the back yet again, releasing a booming laugh as he did so. “Ahahahah! I’m just teazing, friend! I’m just teazing. You do vatever you need to do to veel better, okay?” he said, voice softening as he spoke the final sentence, looking down at you with a smile. 

You smiled back. Reinhardt was here. You could do this. 

_Back into the fray …_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Kind of a really lame, shitty one compared to Genji's ... certainly less powerful, but ... IDK I needed to fix it, and this is how things resolved themselves. I love Grandpa Rein, anyway, so ... I suppose it worked. out. I am exceptionally sorry for the beginning, though. It kind of just plops you right in with no warning or explanation ... It's also a lot shorter ... IDK I feel like I fucked up ... sorry.~~ Well, you guys seem to like it, so ... yeah. Guess I didn't do as bad as I thought. Thank you for your encouraging words. ;v;
> 
> Also, I kinda wanted to leave it up to interpretation whether or not Rein and Reader were in a relationship, since that's a pretty controversial one. *shrugs*
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading.


	4. Ana, Checking In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Grief, Meta Questions, and (could be interpreted as) Suicidal Thoughts ("Why am I alive and they're not?")
> 
> Alt Title: Everyone Dies

Everywhere you walked, you could hear their voice. See their face. Their spirit seemed to hang everywhere, reminding you. Reminding you of them. Their smile. Their heart … and how they were gone. 

It was weird how one look … one smell … one sound … anything could send you over the edge, remembering of the time you had spent together. Certain items in your suitcase, or pictures in your Overwatch account would entirely break you, sending you into a sobbing fit in an instant. 

You missed them … terribly … You wanted nothing more to have them back, but … there was nothing you could do now. They were gone, and you were here … stuck on this island alive … alone. Maybe not physically, but you were alone. At least that’s how you felt, anyway. You knew it wasn’t quite true, but it didn’t stop you from feeling empty. There was a hole, a puzzle piece that had once been there that was now missing. One that could never, ever come back, no matter what you did. 

The sound of a throat being cleared startled you back to the present. Looking up, you caught sight of Lucio, D.VA, and Tracer all staring at you, looking worried. You were sitting at a table: The food on your plate had gone cold, and you hadn’t noticed. 

You knew they could tell something was wrong … or at the very least on your mind. Right before you opened your mouth to say something, however, Lucio asked, “Hey, ________, are you all right? You’re crying.”

Horrified, you raised your hand to your cheek, and suddenly you could feel them. Cold, wet trails of tears streaking your skin. Your nose was stuffed, too … how could you not tell? Abruptly, you stood, resting your hands on the table and mumbling, “Excuse me,” before walking out of the room. You had to hold yourself together until you got out of the dropship, and then you could run. Don’t alert anyone that you’re upset. Don’t—

And that’s when it hit you. Or you hit them. Walked into them or whatever … but when you looked up from staring at the sleek floor of the dropship you could see Ana, her weathered, worn face wrinkled with age and gentle concern. Reaching up, she rested a tender hand on your shoulder and said, “Come with me. We have much to discuss.”

Slowly, you followed Ana, your mind should probably be reeling, or screaming, or something, but … you really couldn’t do anything other than feel hollow. What would **they** do in this situation? Would they put on a brave face, or would they be worried, too? … where are they now?

Ana led you into a small room on the upper deck of the dropship, just before the two of you reached the cockpit. It looked like some kind of office, with a few teacups set out neatly on a small shelf. A fair-sized desk took up a good portion of the room, with two, soft chairs on either side of it. With a gentle smile, the older woman gestured for you to sit in the chair nearest to the door. Slowly, you complied, surprised when you sank slightly into the soft, pink fabric. 

As you sat, Ana moved over to the cabinet. You could hear quiet clanking and rattling behind you, as well as a few drawers opening and closing. When she finally came into view, Ana had assembled a tray of tea-making dishes and a few jars of what you could only assume was tea leaves. “Tea?” she asked simply, setting the tray down on the desk’s surface.

Without a word, you nodded, and she immediately set to busying herself, procuring a thermos from her waist and pouring steaming, hot water from it. You watched the water level rise in the cup, neither of the two speaking a word. You weren’t sure if she was waiting for you to say something, or if she was stopping to choose her words wisely … So the two of you just sat there, her working on preparing tea for the two of you, you staring at your lap, feeling empty, and occasionally thinking about **them**. 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong, ________, or should I bring this issue to 76?”

You flinched slightly at her harsh words, but you knew they were well-meaning. There was a soft tap on your shoulder and, when you looked up, you were greeted by a steaming hot cup, cradled gently on a small plate. You reached up and grabbed the edges of the plate, bringing it down to sit on the table in front of you. Ana skirted around the desk and sat down in the chair opposite you, leaning back and blowing at her tea. Her eyes were trained on you, however, bringing your response to the surface in a way only a mother could.

Eventually, your voice bubbled to the surface, and you finally found the ability to speak. “S-Someone important to me … died … recently. I …” You choked, tears re-tracing their tracks down your cheeks. “I miss them. A lot … but nothing I say or do is ever going to bring them back …” You sobbed. “It’s not gonna bring them back!”

As you cried, you hunched over, leaving the tea untouched as you curled into yourself and sobbed. Why was this so hard? 

Ana sat back, quietly listening and sipping her tea, eyes trained on her cup with a quiet sadness. She showed no signs of interrupting you, but she seemed to have not quite accepted this answer, either. You knew she’d need more before she let you go.

“I’m sorry, I … I just keep finding myself seeing things, or smelling things, or hearing things that make me think of them … and then there are times where I’ll stop eating something and wonder _‘Would they have liked this? Why should I get to enjoy this food while they’re dead? **Why am I alive while they’re dead?** '_” you said, voice barely above a whisper at this point. “I don’t know where they are, or how they’re doing, or what they’re experiencing … or even if they’re experiencing anything anymore, and I just … I miss them …” Finally, you sighed in defeat, leaning forward to rest your head in your hands as you quietly wept. 

There was a quiet clack, presumably of Ana’s tea dish, and the sound of a chair scooting its position ever so slightly. “_________.”

You looked up. Ana was leaning across the table, hand extended palm upward as she looked at you. Tentatively, you placed your hand in her own, and she grasped it, moving it to a point where she could grasp it with both of her soft, weathered hands. 

“________, did you know that the old Overwatch once lost a very important member of our crew … out of combat?”

You shook your head.

Ana let out a quiet sigh and looked down at your hand. “Of course. Overwatch tried very hard to cover it up when it happened. It’s not that we were keeping secrets, but … well, this was a more … personal matter.” She gave you a weary smile, one you had felt yourself putting on for a good while now. 

“Back then, everyone in the higher ranks of Overwatch were really … close. We had built a teamwork, a friendship and trust that was unlike … anything I’d experienced before, or anything I’ve experienced since. Two of those members were Gérard Lacroix, and his wife, Amélie. Those two … I was particularly close with. Amélie even babysat Fareeha a few times.” She smiled wryly, as if this once-sweet memory had been tainted with something sour or bitter. “I trusted those two with my life, and Fareeha’s …

“But one day, I woke up and got a call. Gérard was dead. He had passed away in his sleep, and it was concluded his death was … not natural. Amélie was missing, and nobody knew what to do …” she said, pausing to take a deep breath and steady her gently trembling hands. With a squeeze and another cover-up smile, she continued. “In one day, I’d lost two of my friends … and, what’s worse, I felt as if I had failed them. It’s hard to explain, but … there was reason to believe I could have done something to prevent their deaths.” She seemed to choke on the last word, a hard look on her face. 

“I struggled for weeks after that. I couldn’t stop thinking about them, or what I could have done to help, or if they were still out there …” She paused yet again. “Fareeha noticed their absence, too. It made her sad for a while, but then the most marvelous thing happened. She came up to me one day and said, _“Mama, I know Amé and Gért are gone, but that does not mean we have to be sad. There are happy things to remember, too.”_ ” As she spoke, a smile crept onto Ana’s lips, and she chuckled quietly. 

“It was surprising to think that a child could think of what I could not … but perhaps that’s just the beauty of childhood, hm?” Looking up, she squeezed your hand and offered a genuine smile this time. “I know it won’t get rid of the problem entirely, but know that whoever it is you lost, whether they’re out there or not, they would not want you to be upset. I promise that they care, or did care, very much for you. While it is okay to grieve, it is also okay to remember happy things. It is okay to be happy, even without them …” she said, giving your hand another squeeze. 

You could feel the tears on your cheeks, yet again freshly wetted, and you bit your lip to keep it from trembling. It was true … there were good times to remember … fun things you had done together … But it still stung to think that they weren’t there anymore. 

With a sympathetic smile, Ana gave another squeeze and stood, walking around the desk to stand in front of you. She opened her arms in a willing gesture, offering a hug. 

It was an offer you couldn’t refuse.

Standing, you curled into her arms, resting your head on her shoulder as you wept. She hummed and gently rubbed your back. “D-Does it ever get better? Does the pain ever go away?” you squeaked between sobs. 

After a pause, Ana shook her head gently. “No, not really. But you get better at handling it. And, someday, you’ll find the waves of sad memories will begin bringing good memories with them as well. It just takes time.”

The two of you sat there for a moment, your sobs eventually petering out to quiet sniffles. Once you had calmed down sufficiently, the two of you leaned back. Ana smiled at you for a moment before leaning in and planting a tender kiss on your forehead as she held you again. “It gets better, I promise. You just have to do one thing:

“Learn from the pain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS: "Now sit down before your tea gets any colder. I prepared it for you, and I'm not about to let it go to waste."
> 
> _________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
>  
> 
> Ahah ... another one I feeled like I failed on. I feel like it's too short (even though the word count practically the same as my other ones), like it's impersonal ... IDK. This is the first one that's not actually a vent piece, though. Someone who's very close to me had a friend die, so I figured I'd write this for them ... 
> 
> I tried to be as ambiguous as possible so people could relate whoever they needed to into the position, though ... Like a dog, or a parent, or a friend. I ... hope I did well enough to properly ease you guys' grief ... I know it was a lot of recap on Gerard's story, but ... I tried. 
> 
> I just hope I could help ease the pain, if only a little ... Love you guys. 
> 
> _________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT TAKING REQUESTS. Not yet, anyway. This was a special case, and there's one other I'm practicing with before I decide whether or not I'm going to even do requests for this fic. It really started off as a personal vent piece that I just happened to post. No work required then. I hope you understand if I do decide to not take requests. >m< ;;

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE THERE WILL BE SOME SERIOUS TRIGGERS AND SENSITIVE TOPICS IMPLIED, MENTIONED, AND TALKED ABOUT IN THIS FIC.
> 
> This is basically me venting to the characters of Overwatch ... 
> 
> A bunch of these are shit cuz I'm writing them at 4 AM when I can't sleep and my thoughts are getting dangerous. 
> 
> Anyway ... *waves at those who've decided to stay* Thanks for readin'


End file.
